


Definitely Not An Easter Story

by PullTogether



Category: Zootopia (2016)
Genre: F/M, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2020-01-20 16:33:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18528880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PullTogether/pseuds/PullTogether
Summary: Nick and Judy travel to Bunnyburrow for the annual Spring Festival, unable to decide how best to break some big news to her family.





	1. Chapter 1

Nick nervously tapped on the armrest of his seat while he looked out the train window and watched the countryside fly by.

Judy slipped into the seat next to him. “Hey, you’ve been awfully quiet today.”

He stopped tapping and turned to smile at her. “Just thinking about our conversation last night.”

“Me too.” Judy rested her paw on Nick’s, and they both gazed out the large forward observation window. After a few moments, she spoke again. “You know, one of my sisters brought a weasel home last year for prom, and my parents didn’t freak out.”

“I remember. But you and I both know this isn’t the same.” Judy sighed and nodded. They sat quietly until the train pulled into the station and she patted his paw. “There’s no hurry. Just relax and enjoy the Spring Festival, and we’ll figure out how to tell them when the time is right.”

They looked out the window at the large fluffle of rabbits waiting for them, and Nick couldn’t help but cringe when he remembered the chaotic meeting with Judy’s family the one time he’d been to Bunnyburrow before. As if reading his mind, Judy said, “Don’t worry, Slick. I told everyone to chill out this time. Oh, and I almost forgot, my siblings are dragging me over to say hi to a few old friends from school. Can you sign us up for an activity? Pick whatever you want, and meet us back at the Hopps produce stand.”

One bunny tsunami later, Nick made his way to the large red barn at the center of the fairgrounds. He browsed through the various fliers on the bulletin board and soon realized most of the “activities” looked way too much like work, until Nick spied one signup sheet seeking “entertainment with a Spring theme.” He remembered Judy telling him about her aspiring acting career as a kit, and putting on a play sounded like way more fun than moving boxes of produce or setting up and breaking down tents and food stands. On one of the blank lines he quickly wrote  _ Theatrical production, by Judy Hopps. _ He paused for a moment, before adding,  _ and family _ , along with his and Judy’s phone numbers.

 

***

 

“I wish you’d talked to me before you signed us up for this.”

“What happened to picking whatever I wanted?” Nick stopped rummaging through a cardboard box labelled  **Costumes** and smirked at Judy. “Besides, I thought you liked acting in plays? I mean, it’s just the Bunnyburrow Spring Festival, and I figured you, me, and maybe some of your siblings could act out any old Easter--”

Judy cut him off with a shriek. “You didn’t say you’d put on an Easter play, did you?”

Nick gave her a puzzled look. “Well, not specifically. What’s wrong with Easter?”

“You realize rabbits don’t lay eggs, right? And every--” Judy paused and shuddered before she continued, “every Easter play I’ve seen insensitively treats rabbits like breeding machines.”

“So you don’t celebrate Easter--”

“NO!” Judy sighed and paused a moment before continuing in a calmer tone. “No, but we do celebrate the normal less offensive ones.”

“Huh.” Nick rummaged through the box again and pulled out a small fox costume. “What kinds of plays did you have with foxes in them?”

Judy looked at her feet, her ears blushing scarlet. “Not ones that were particularly friendly to foxes. I wore that costume as a kit when I played the trickster in one play--”

“Never mind, I get it.”

They were silent for several awkward moments, before Judy said glumly, “Now what? We’ve only got two days until we go on stage and put on a play that insults every single bunny who sees it, or one where you’re the bad guy?” She paused. “Unless you want to dress up like a big rabbit?”

Nick laughed and shook his head. “I don’t think so, Carrots.” He looked pensive for a moment. “You know, not everyone believes in the randy rabbit stories normally associated with Easter.” Judy flinched when Nick said the last word, but he ignored her reaction and continued. “My mom once told me a story she heard from her gram gram… could we borrow some of your younger siblings and this fox costume? I have an idea I think you’ll like.”


	2. Chapter 2

Finnick ambled towards Nick, carrying a large cardboard box with a  **Catberry Eggs** logo on the side. The smaller fox put the box down and laughed when he saw Nick, who was dressed in a primitive faux reptile-skin costume trimmed with bird feathers. “Th’ hell you wearin’?”

“Technically I should be naked, but I’m not sure Fluff’s family is ready for that level of historical authenticity.” Nick looked concerned as he opened the box and started rummaging through the contents. “So you brought the wooden ones too?”

“Don’t sweat it, I already gave ‘em to your bunny.” Finnick pointed at the box. “You wanted the candy eggs with two humpin’ rabbits inside, right? Nick’s mouth dropped open and he gaped at the smaller fox, who stared with a deadpan look for a moment before he broke down and howled with glee. After a few moments Finnick stopped laughing and said, “I’m just messin’ wichya… they’z all plain borin’ candy eggs. Had to get you back, for makin’ me sit on the train with all dem bunnies glarin’ at me the whole way. Whatchya want all these eggs for anyways?”

Nick scowled. “Thanks for giving me a heart attack. They’re to hand out after the play we’re putting on. You’ll probably recognize it, though Carrots and I made a few changes.”

 

***

 

Several dozen rabbits, along with a scattering of sheep and a few smaller predators, sat in rows before the stage. The house lights dimmed and a hush fell over the crowd, before a young rabbit stepped onto the darkened stage and began to speak:

 

_ Long long ago, a fox found a rabbit hanging over a pit trap. She’d been put there by some large predators as bait to catch one of the carnivorous reptiles that were once common.  _

 

The lights came up on stage and revealed Judy dangling in a rope harness over a stage prop that looked like a pit. Nick strutted onto the stage, a fishing rod over his shoulder, and Judy said, “Please Mr. Fox, could you free me? I’d help you if I found you like this.”

Nick laughed. “I should just get you down so I can eat you.” The lecherous look on his face drew a few giggles from the crowd and a glare from Judy. “But don’t worry, I took the Oath, so you’re safe.”

He gently lifted Judy out of the rope harness and lowered her to the ground. With a small bow, she took her necklace off and presented it to Nick. “Thank you. I’m in your debt. Please take this humble gift.” When Nick reached out, Judy moved closer to him and stomped on his foot. The grin on Nick’s face quickly turned to a grimace of pain and he stifled a cry while the narrator continued:

 

_ To thank the fox, the rabbit gave him a necklace with the mark of her clan on it, and told him she hoped it would bring him luck. _

 

A string dangled from Nick’s paw, on which hung a rough piece of wood with a small egg carved on it. He held it up against his clothes before shaking his head, drawing a few more giggles from the audience.

 

_ The fox was known to carve wood now and then, and he wasn’t impressed with the crude design. He started to tell the rabbit he had no need for this thing, but she had already disappeared into the forest. _

 

The stage lights dimmed and dark shapes could be seen carrying things across the stage as the narration continued:

 

_ After fishing for the rest of the day, the fox came home to find he’d been robbed by bandits. The food he’d collected all spring and summer was gone, and with winter fast approaching, the fox found himself in a bad situation. He worked as hard as he could to replenish his food stores, but little was left to be found, and it wasn’t long before the fox was in dire straights. He wondered if taking the Oath had been a mistake as he faced the real possibility of starving to death. _

_One day when he hadn’t eaten for nearly a week, he had an idea after he spotted the necklace hanging on a peg near the fireplace._ _He remembered some advice his mother had given him as a kit, so he set to work carving a few pieces of cedar wood he’d been saving for something special._ _Once he was done, he put his carvings in a sack and set off for the rabbit village in the mountains._

_ The fox fished along the way, but had no luck. The cold winter rivers were empty of all but the tiniest of fish. Eventually he ran into a group of rabbits who warned him to turn back. _

 

The lights came up on the stage, where a group of small bunnies dressed in primitive clothing and holding spears surrounded Nick. One jabbed Nick from behind and he comically rubbed his backside, while another rabbit grabbed his fishing pole.

 

_The fox showed them the necklace and asked if this would grant him safe passage to their village. They accused him of murdering a rabbit and taking the necklace, whereupon he told them the story of how it came to be his._ _One of the rabbits raced back to their village and returned with the Matron’s daughter, the very same rabbit who had given the necklace to the fox. She ordered the other rabbits to lower their spears and welcomed the tod into their village._

Judy grabbed Nick’s hand and they walked across the stage with the other rabbits to stand before the entrance of a hut.

 

_ The fox waited outside the Matron’s hut and tried to remain calm while the leaders of the rabbit village argued about what to do with him, until the Matron herself finally came out to speak. _

 

One of Judy’s older sisters dressed in ornate robes came out of the hut and folded her arms across her chest. “I am the Matron of this village. What are you doing here, fox?”

Nick held up the necklace and said, “My mother always told me that honor demands any gift be returned threefold.”

Several of the rabbits raised their spears as Nick put the necklace into his bag and pulled out a wooden egg. A few rabbits in the audience gasped and talked amongst themselves when Nick knelt before handing the egg to Judy, followed by two more he retrieved from the bag.

 

_ The fox did not know that rabbits considered cedar eggs to be a sacred gift. His generosity moved the leader of the rabbits. She looked at his starved frame and took pity on him. _

 

The Matron said, “We have little food to share that you would find edible, but you are welcome to fish in the nearby lake. It isn’t a gift, since the rabbits have no use for the fish, and you are welcome to keep whatever you catch.”

 

_ And thus the fox was saved from starving to death until spring, when he returned home. _

 

The stage went dark and the house lights came on. There was an awkward silence, but soon several younger mammals in the crowd cheered and clapped, and the rest joined in. A small rabbit came out dressed like a little fox, along with Finnick. They were carrying baskets of candy eggs that they handed out to the kits in the audience while all the actors came onto the stage and bowed.

  
  


***

 

“Yo’ bunny know how that story was ‘sposed to end?”

“Oh hell no, and you better not tell her.”

Finnick shook his head. “Returnin’ gifts threefold… and what’s up with the wooden eggs?”

Nick shrugged. “They were Judy’s idea. Said they were special to rabbits, or something.”

Several rabbits and sheep walked by, and many showered Nick with effusive congratulations, with some even shaking his paw. After they moved on, Finnick raised an eyebrow and Nick shrugged again. Soon Gideon ambled over and Nick introduced him to Finnick.

Gideon said, “I liked this version bettern’ the one I heard as a tyke.”

Nick grinned. “So you’re saying it’s good we left out the part where the fox was chased off after—”

The three foxes were startled when a voice from behind them interrupted and said, “Who chased off which fox?”

The three predators turned to stare awkwardly at Judy for a moment, before Finnick said, “Gid, how ‘bout we go get some o’ dat Eas--” Nick coughed loudly, and Finnick paused. “I mean, that Spring Festival moonshine I keep hearin’ about?”

“Sounds like a grand idea. Foller me.”

Gideon and Finnick walked towards the exit, before Judy linked arms with Nick and said, “Don’t look so guilty, I already made Gideon tell me the original ending. I like our version better.”

“Who else knows?”

“Just me and all you sneaky foxes.”

Another group of rabbits came over and congratulated them both. A few hugged Judy, and one large buck slapped Nick on the back before following the rest of the rabbits as they walked away.

“Why does everyone keep congratulating us about the play? Is life really that boring out here in the sticks?”

Judy bit her lip and smiled. “Remember when we talked about the best way to break the news to my parents that you and I want to get married someday?”

“Fluff, what does that have to do with--”

Judy held up both paws. “Let me finish. You probably don’t know why rabbits used to consider cedar eggs sacred, but according to ancient rabbit tradition, we’re engaged now.”

Nick laughed. “Clever bunny.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> A huge thanks to Relaxable for the fantastic cover art! See their other awesome artwork on deviantart and artstation


End file.
